Opportunity to reassemble seemed unlikely; Metta’s future was left uncertain.

However, Metta had different plans. She yearned to exist, and it seems she desired to do so in considerable size.

Some elements existed in OG-Metta that felt important to be included in Metta’s new form:

Transparency
A significant aspect of OG-Metta, transparency, has been integrated into Metta in various ways. The top support scaffold is made of clear Perspex. Although the gridded mesh wire framework for hanging could not be crafted from transparent materials, I painted the metal white to ensure it blends seamlessly into a room with white walls and ceilings. The wires that stabilise Metta’s structure are composed of clear fishing line. I intentionally left the excess bits untrimmed when securing her, as I believe in being transparent about her creation process. I also do this when I draw, resisting the erasure of the foundational marks. Transparency is also a key feature of Metta’s structural component. The vine and seed-bead structure is open and spacious, allowing for visibility through, in, and around her. The strands are strung on clear fishing line, and I incorporated clear or transparent supporting-role beads where they aesthetically fit. I refer to them as supporting-role beads because they are not the focal point of the strand.

Detachability 
Metta is entirely detachable. The strands symbolise the transparent contact sheets from OG-Metta, which served as a daily printout of all images created, displayed chronologically as a visual tracking system. I hung these sheets with bulldog clips, emphasising the importance of making the data easily retrievable for exploration, engagement, and thoughtful consideration before returning it to its designated place.

In recreating this detachable retrievability in Metta, I used lobster clasps and small hooks to attach everything. This allows me to effortlessly remove and examine the components and rearrange them as needed.

Colour
I have reflected the colours from OG-Metta in the strands, utilising similar palettes and themes throughout.

Reflection 
One remarkable aspect of Metta, including OG-Metta, is her ability to mirror qualities of myself that I had been unable to see. Through her movements and colours I saw gentle, soothing calm, and beauty. She reflected the inquiry and various aspects of my lived experience. She reflects qualities that I therapeutically needed, a goal I had not intentionally aimed to achieve; it was an unexpectedly delightful surprise. While much of what has been inquired into has been challenging and intense, she introduced colours and movements that are both pleasing and calming. Additionally, she provided opportunities for reflection and contemplation.

In August 2023 I relocated to Far North Queensland. Come December, I was facing the aftermath of post-cyclone floods, and in early 2024 I had been relocated a distance from my home, as the house was deemed unliveable. As someone who experiences the social-interaction challenges sometimes experienced by autistic individuals (Chan et al., 2023), I struggle with meeting new people and forming friendships. While my loyal canine companion, Pip, was always by my side and provided excellent company, at that time, my social world was thin, and I often felt unmoored. I do not need to know many people or maintain a bustling social calendar; I prefer quality over quantity and have little patience for small talk. However, I recognise the importance of human connections and the sense of belonging they provide. By April, however, the beginnings of three significant friendships emerged, each of which profoundly shaped my year and became woven into Metta’s becoming. For the sake of this inquiry, I refer to them as Savant, Maximal, and Grou.

Metta’s structure is crafted from vines collected from the forest and beads made from seeds found on beaches. The vines were gathered during early morning walks with my friend Savant, where we engaged in profound philosophical discussions. Those moments were invaluable to me; they provided physical exercise and the rare joy of sharing expansive conversations with good company.

The seed beads were a gift from Grou, whose garden I had stayed in for a few weeks. Grou had an immense bowl filled with an assortment of seeds collected from beaches during their travels across the country. One day, Grou gave me a gift – a strand made of seed-beads. I found it to be highly aesthetically desirable – I liked the way it looked, the shape of it, and the colours. I had never made a strand before, and I loved this one so much that it inspired me to make many more.

Then there is Maximal, the first friend I made. An artist, she is maximal in every way, particularly with colour. In contrast, my own approach to colour is usually quite minimal, tending to stick to a single hue and its varying tones. This is partly because I tended to experience aesthetic dissonance when trying to combine multiple colours, leading me to doubt my ability to use colour boldly. Spending time with Maximal influenced a desire to bring more colour in. While Metta is vibrant, and I delight in her colourful presence, she still embodies a more subdued use of colour than Maximal’s exuberant style.

Metta’s strands are made from various materials – from seeds to Pip-felts – felted balls of fur donated by my beloved canine companion Pip (RTM, 2024a).
 Their origin, however, began with the flood-fucked.
 What do I mean by the flood-fucked?

While sorting through items hastily stored in my shed after the floods, I stumbled upon the sturdy travel case I used for my jewellery. It had been about eight months since the disaster, and as I unzipped the case, a rush of rusty-brown floodwater spilled out. I should mention that the floodwaters had become contaminated with sewage due to the local pump station bursting during the event. Unfortunately, any jewellery that was not made of precious metal was irreversibly damaged and could no longer be worn as it once was

After the initial sadness subsided, the idea emerged to deconstruct, salvage, and repurpose the flood-fucked items as materials. I meticulously deconstructed, cleaned, and sorted everything into its components and began crafting strands from them. As I create, I trust that embodied wisdom guides my choices, ensuring that each strand reflects the feelings experienced, the memories held, and the processing unfolding during the making.

Metta required more strands than the flood-fucked had components to accommodate. One of the few non-tourist shops in Kuranda is Possum’s Corner, an op shop offering the closest approximation to art supplies. Just as I had done at the beginning of my inquiry in February, I went to Possum’s Corner to see what I could find. Whatever jewellery they had, I would bring home and dismantle.

An unexpected wonderful came from this: I ended up with all these beads and pendants that I found aesthetically offensive – items I would never have chosen. I began to create strands intentionally using the materials I disliked.

Something magical emerged from this process: some of these strands became my favourites. They are expressive and evocative in ways that would not be present if I had limited myself to appealing materials. Being less controlling and precious over selecting aesthetically pleasing materials, design, and placement has opened up my art, evolving and expanding it beyond what I imagined.

There are pendants among the harvested flood-fucked that hold historical personal meaning and now hang as part of Metta. There is a pendant I wore daily for ten years until the birth of my child, and diamonds passed down from my grandmother. Also included is a pendant handmade by someone who inflicted abuse upon me as a child. I paused to consider whether to include this pendant in Metta. Aesthetically different from what I would create, I felt it would appeal to more people than objects I make. Part of me was curious to see if people would be drawn to this pendant over the others. I was curious how that might make me feel.

I was curious about many things that it might say.

Ultimately, my decision to include it stemmed from the understanding that Metta reflects me – a portrait of myself, informed by and imbued with my lived experiences. The actions of that person back then significantly impacted my being, playing a role in shaping who I now am. This made it feel appropriate to include. I intentionally opt not to share which strands hold historical moments, allowing viewers to ponder each strand equally.

AND

The most delightful, and final, additions – strands made of Pip-felts (Figures 3 and 4). Considering Pip’s lasting influence and presence throughout my degree, it felt essential to include them.